A Trip Home
by EmilyF.6
Summary: Peter's class is going on a field trip to Stark Industries...Peter doesn't want to go.


Peter dragged his feet as he made his way up the stairs, shoulders slumped, earbuds jammed firmly in his ears. Hands shoved in his hoodie pocket, he kept his head down, following the throng of students entering the front door to the school. All around him, other kids were chattering and laughing or fighting or playfully shoving one another, and Peter's skin crawled at the sight. Praying that his body language screamed 'don't touch me' he stared at his feet as he made his way to his locker. Shrugging off his backpack, he all but threw it into his locker, not bothering to grab any of his books.

He had to pull his hood down…stupid school rule, and the lights hit him hard. Wishing he had a pair of Mr. Stark's sunglasses, he made sure his phone was in his pocket, then trudged to homeroom. He didn't know why he couldn't have just stayed…home. In his bedroom. Curled up under the covers and closed his eyes and waited for the day to be over.

Ned looked up, eyes bright, just as excited as everyone else, but as soon as he saw Peter, his face dropped. "Dude…what happened to you?"

Peter didn't want to talk about it. Didn't want to go into detail about his crappy night or the hit he'd taken on patrol or the stupid fight with Tony…didn't want to think about any of it. Of course, it was kind of the worst day to try and forget about anything Tony Stark related. But he was going to do his best. It had been such a stupid fight…but after what Peter had said, he wouldn't blame the man if he never spoke to him again.

"Nothing." Peter finally settled for grumbling. Ned just lifted an eyebrow but didn't press. He was good like that, and Peter managed a weak smile for him. "I don't know what you're so excited about. It's no like you haven't been there."

"I know but…like…we'll get to go behind the scenes!"

"You've been in the lab, Ned. Like…two weeks ago."

"But…this time we'll be with a real Stark Industries tour guide."

Peter sighed but gave up on arguing. It didn't matter anyway. It wasn't like Tony was even going to be there. It would be fine…apart from his aching head and the dizziness he'd been feeling since he'd woken up and the fact that he'd thrown up his breakfast and his senses that were dialed to eleven, he was fine. He was going to be fine. Sadly, though, he'd have to suffer through this field trip first. But…he would make it. Tony was out of town…had been ever since their fight three days ago, and wasn't scheduled to come home until the weekend…so he had two more days of relative peace before the man got home and ripped him a new one for being such an asshole.

It had all been Peter's fault anyway…so he guessed he deserved it. Still, it was going to suck. Hopefully his head would stop hurting before that happened. He didn't think he could take a lecture with the headache he was currently suffering through, despite downing four ibuprofens.

The headache was Peter's fault too. Stupid karma.

The first bell rang, driving an icepick into Peter's skull, and then Mr. Harrington was stepping up to the front of the room. Peter put his head down on his folded arms, closing his eyes to try and block out the fluorescents as his teacher went over the ground rules. Only Mr. Harrington's AP Chem class would be going on the field trip to Stark Industries, so apart from Flash who, in the last year had turned into slightly less of a dick, there weren't any people that Mr. Harrington would need to worry about misbehaving. Still, he gave them the spiel, and Peter closed his eyes, trying to block it out.

He doubted he could get into any more trouble with Tony if he tried. Still, he wasn't about to try. So he stood when the others did, following Ned through the door and then down the hall, hands in his hoodie pocket, head down, eyes flinching at the light and hoping that they got stuck in traffic so that he could take a nap. When they climbed onto the bus, Peter dropped into a seat in the back with Ned, dropping his head against the window.

"Now you want to tell me what happened?" Ned asked, bumping against his shoulder a little, and Peter flinched at the impact. "Peter?"

"I…I just…" Peter sighed. "Senses." He told him, hoping he understood. And he did.

"Wy didn't you stay home?"

Peter had to fight back the urge to snap that that wasn't his home. That his home was gone. But Ned didn't deserve that, and Peter didn't really think it. Tony had done everything for him…and he'd repaid him by acting like a brat. Worse than a brat. And Peter had no idea how to make it better. No idea how to apologize or make it up to him or…or any of it. "I don't know." He murmured. And he didn't. He didn't know how to explain how he was feeling any more than he knew how to make it up to Tony.

Plus, it was almost impossible to remember to keep calling him Tony. But the man had insisted and Peter felt like it was the one thing he could do. The one request he could honor.

"When we get there, why don't you just tell Mr. Harrington? Maybe he'll let you stay?"

Peter didn't want to stay. Didn't want to go back to school. Didn't know what he wanted. But he didn't want this. "I can't just leave in the middle of a field trip. Someone would have to sign me out, and Tony's still in Japan."

"What about Miss Potts?"

"She won't be home until seven."

It wasn't too long before they pulled up to Stark Industries, the same place that Peter had left just an hour or so ago. Mr. Harrington shepherded them all off the bus, and Peter forced himself to his feet once more, biting back a groan of pain when the world spun around him. His head was pounding, and he had to grip the seats as he passed to keep himself upright. Ned kept throwing him worried looks, and as Peter was climbing down onto the parking lot, Ned reached back and helped him stay balanced.

"I think you need to call Mr. Stark…or Miss Potts." Ned urged him quietly, but Peter just shook his head. He wasn't going to bug either of them. Not for this…not when it had been his choice to sneak out at three in the morning. Had been his choice to disable Friday in his room and to disable Karen's ability to call for help if he got hurt and his choice to try and break up that gang fight when he hadn't slept in two days.

All in all, his choices maybe hadn't been the best lately. But how could they have been when he felt like he couldn't think, couldn't breathe…couldn't focus or live his life or find joy in literally anything. Even with all the kindness Mr. Stark had shown him, he still felt like he couldn't get himself together. Couldn't actually live his life, not anymore.

As they stepped into the front lobby, Peter kept his head down, wincing at the lights and the noise of the building he'd just left that morning. Their tour guide, a smiley guy named Jerome that Peter vaguely recognized as one of the HR people he'd met once or twice, greeted them, and led them to reception where they would all receive their guest badges. Janice, who he'd come to know pretty well in the last few months, smiled at him when she handed him the same badge as everyone else, but no one said anything, not even Flash.

They'd all seen the news…had all seen the coverage of the hospital shooter…the man who had killed two receptionists, six patients, and one very brave nurse before being taken down by the police. They'd all seen the very public adoption…how could they not have? It had been the only thing on the new for at least two days. "Genius billionaire playboy philanthropist superhero Tony Stark adopts Stark Intern after the Queens Hospital shooting." So not even Flash made a comment about Peter receiving a normal guest badge when in his wallet was a pass that gave him unlimited access, rivaled only by Tony Stark and Pepper Potts.

It didn't matter. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Maybe that's why he'd screamed at his adoptive father a few days ago when the man had just been trying to help.

They looked around the first floor for a few moments before going upstairs to one of the intern labs. Peter did his best to focus…Jerome was doing a great job and was being very nice and welcoming and all that but all Peter could think about was how hard it was to stay upright…how impossible it felt to keep moving his feet forward, one after the other, and not fall down while doing it. Ned helped, sticking close and paying more attention to him than the tour, which made Peter feel even worse. He knew his friend had been really excited about this field trip, and he was ruining it…just like he ruined everything.

The group was halfway through the lab when Peter had to grab Ned's arm to keep his knees from buckling. "Peter?" Ned hissed, just as another voice joined Jerome's.

"So this is the group from Midtown High." All around Peter were excited gasps but he couldn't focus…couldn't figure out why Tony was there or why Ned was practically supporting all of his weight or, for a few seconds, where he was.

"Mr. Stark…I thought you were out of town for a few more days." Jerome said, surprise and a smile in his voice. All of Tony's employees loved him…and the ones that didn't tended to turn into super villains so…Peter frowned. That thought had been going somewhere, just like the rest of his thoughts, but they were all drifting and Ned was shaking him a little.

"I was, but I thought I'd…" Suddenly there was quiet, all of his classmates growing silent, and then hurried footsteps. "Excuse me…move…Peter?" The man demanded, and then he was right there, one hand gripping Peter's arm just firmly enough to hold him up, the other touching the side of his face. "Ned? What's wrong with him?"

"He said…um…said it was just sensory overload but…but he's been getting worse and…"

"Pete? Come on, buddy. Come on…look at me."

Peter realized all of a sudden that he hadn't been looking at Tony…that he'd been staring at the wall behind him, and he blinked, trying to force his eyes to zero in on his adoptive father.

"You aren't my father!" Those were the words he'd screamed right before the man had left for his business trip. Tony had told him that he wasn't allowed to patrol while he was out of the country. Had told him that he was going to have Peter talk to someone…like a therapist. And Peter had screamed at him. "You aren't my fucking father! You aren't anything!" And then he'd slammed his bedroom door hard enough that a picture outside had fallen off the wall and shattered.

Peter wouldn't have blamed the man for ending it there. For sending him away. He hadn't signed up for this…hadn't signed up for an overly emotional teenager screaming at him when all he'd done was help…was keep him from going into the system.

"I'm sorry." Peter murmured, surprised when he couldn't get the words to sound right. That didn't matter though…he just had to get the words out. "Tony…Tony, I'm so sorry…I didn't mean it…I didn't…"

"I know that, buddy. Woah!" Suddenly both hands were gripping his shoulders and Peter was pretty sure they were the only things holding him up. Somewhere in his mind, he was aware that his whole class was watching this exchange, including Flash, but he couldn't manage to care. "Peter? Talk to me. What's going on?" Tony sounded afraid…more afraid than Peter had ever heard him. But he didn't know why.

"I'm sorry." Peter murmured, needing to apologize. Tony had to know that he hadn't meant it! That he dreamed about her every night and missed her so much and felt like his whole soul was pain that he had no idea how to escape. "Tony, I'm so sorry…I didn't mean it."

"Peter? You just said that, kiddo." Tony told him softly, voice on the verge of panic. "What happened? Are you feeling sick? Did you hit your head?"

"I…I'm sorry…"

"No, no! Focus up. Look at me!" Tony demanded, and Peter opened his eyes, not sure when he'd closed them. He was swaying, and if it hadn't been for his father's hands on his arms he would have fallen. Father? Was Richard…no…no…it was Tony. Tony was…was his father now. He'd signed the papers, and even though Peter hadn't changed his name, Tony was his father.

"Sorry…Dad…" The word felt strange on his tongue, but all of his words were coming out strange and he didn't know how to fix it. "Dad?"

"Jerome, take them to the next lab. I'm going to get him to medical." Tony barked. Why was Tony so upset?

Who was Jerome? Why…why was Peter's body so heavy and his head hurt so bad and dark spots appeared in his vision. There were more footsteps, and someone was asking Tony something but the man was just easing him onto the ground, helping him sit, a gentle hand cupping the back of his head. Peter hissed in pain when his fingers brushed against the bump on the back of his head, and Tony froze.

"I'm…sorry…" Peter murmured, but Tony had his hand cupped on his cheek, another on his shoulder holding him upright against the wall as his head lolled. It hurt so much.

"Okay. It's okay. I forgive you. Just…can you look at me?"

Why did Tony keep asking that?

Tony? His Dad?

"Yeah…yeah…" Peter agreed, and Tony's face swam into focus. The man was staring at him, brow furrowed, jaw tight. He was scared. Why was he scared?

"Do you know where you are?"

Peter looked around just as someone else approached, wheeling something…a bed? "I…I was on a field trip…but…but I…Karen…I told Karen not to…not to call you."

Tony took a deep, controlled breath. "Why? What happened?"

Peter couldn't answer him…couldn't even remember what he'd just said, and arms scooped him up, then laid him on the bed. A woman he should have known shone a light in his eyes while someone else tightened straps around his torso. He didn't like it, but Tony was quick to grab his hand. "It's okay…it's okay, Pete. We're getting you to the Medbay. Helen is going to figure out what's wrong. Can you tell me what happened?"

"Crowbar…wasn't fast enough…sorry…" He vaguely remembered that much. Remembered the fight and his desperation to save someone…to do something right, but also remembered jumping in and losing his balance and the exhaustion that had made him slow and the blow to his head…the metal and then the ground…and then darkness for what Karen had told him had been thirty minutes.

Time sped up then, and Peter couldn't make his mouth work anymore. Couldn't remember why that was important. But Tony kept a hold of his hand until the pain in his head shot up to a hundred, and then everything was dark.

When Peter opened his eyes, it was to the all too familiar white ceiling and steady beeping of the medbay. "Peter?" Tony's voice came to him as if from far away, and he winced. Tony. Their fight. His voice screaming and the door slamming. The look on Tony's face right before he'd slammed that door. He'd never meant to say it. Hadn't meant any of it. Would never had said any of it if everything hadn't hurt so damn much. "Hey…Peter? Can you hear me?" Tony's voice was desperate and hopeful and a little afraid,

"Yeah." Peter murmured. He remembered a field trip…remembered being in the intern lab…but nothing else. "I…I thought you weren't coming home until the weekend…what day is it?"

"I came home early. And it's a good thing I did." Tony wasn't yelling…didn't sound angry. Just so tired…and so worried. So that was a good sign. Peter didn't ask, but he went on anyway. "You had a concussion…and your brain was hemorrhaging." Peter felt his eyes go wide at that, and he turned to stare at the man in shock, ignoring the dull ache that caused. "You should have called me, Pete. Should have…" The man shook his head, lips pressed together.

"I'm sorry." Peter whispered. "Tony…I'm…."

"No. Don't…kid, you already apologized. Roughly five times. And then you had a seizure…before we could even get you to the medbay and you…damn it, Pete." Tony dropped his head into shaking hands, and Peter started to sit up…started to try and comfort him or explain or something. Before he could, though, a sharp pain went through his temple and he dropped back down with a hiss. "What? What's wrong?" Tony demanded, reaching out and touching his wrist.

"Nothing. I just tried to get up."

"Yeah, don't do that. You just got out of surgery a few hours ago. I have no idea how you're even awake." Tony shook his head but gripped Peter's wrist, rubbing his thumb over his arm.

For a moment, there was silence. But Peter couldn't stand it. He needed Tony to know how sorry he was…that he hadn't mean any of that. That he couldn't bear the thought of being sent away. "I really am sorry."

"For what?" Tony asked tiredly. "For reprogramming Friday so she wouldn't rat you out for sneaking out in the middle of the night? For getting hurt and not telling me? For trying to power through a brain hemorrhage?"

"I didn't mean it." Peter whispered.

Tony closed his eyes, shaking his head a little, and his whole face softened. "Kiddo…" Tony squeezed his arm, but Peter had to go on. Had to try and explain himself, despite the fact that he had no idea how to put words to how he felt. To how much it all hurt.

"I promise…I promise, I didn't mean it. I…I was just…"

"Hey." Tony murmured, and Peter met his eyes, ashamed of the tears in his own eyes. "Buddy…"

"I didn't mean it. You…you are my dad. I mean…since you adopted me…but I…I won't call you that if you don't want me to and…and I promise…I can…I can try to…I mean…"

Tony moved closer, reaching out and wiping a finger under his eyes, then resting his hand on Peter's cheek. "I know you didn't mean it. I knew that when you said it. Hell, you think that was bad? You should have heard the stuff I said to my own dad. And I meant it."

"I still shouldn't have…"

"Pete…kiddo, I get it. Really. I know…I know how hard this is. I know it hurts. And I know that it's going to hurt for a long time. But I'm right here, okay? I'm not going anywhere. No matter what." He leaned in, squeezing his shoulder, then, as best he could with Peter laying down, he wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close. Peter just barely managed to get an arm around him…he still felt weak and uncoordinated. But still…he tried. "I love you, kiddo. So much. I thought…shit, Pete. I thought you were going to…" Tony shook his head, pulling away just enough to press a kiss to his temple. It was strange…but in a fantastic way. In a way that made him feel warm and loved and safe all at once.

"I love you too…Tony."

"You called me 'Dad' before, you know? When you were bleeding to death on the floor of my intern lab." Peter almost groaned, suddenly remembering that his whole class had seen that. Or had they left? He couldn't quite remember it all. "I'm not saying you have to but…if you want…"

Peter leaned forward again, sitting up just enough to give him a real hug. Tony held him up, supporting him and holding him close and for the first time in so long, Peter thought that things might be okay someday. "I love you, Dad."


End file.
